Sick All the Time? Practice Forgiveness

I will Never Turn to the Dark Side Meme | SpiritMAMA Blog

Last night I had a really vivid dream that moved from one story to the next story. When I woke up I was like, wow! a lot going on there. I felt the tug to meditate immediately. What followed was the densest meditation session I have ever had. The energy in my mind was like a thousand tiny creeks bubbling, like a friend who’s bursting with something to tell and can’t talk fast enough, like fireflies zipping about in the night… you get it right?

Meditation has been a big part of my life in the past four months. For the first couple of months not much happened. I would basically sit and think for half an hour. But recently, I’m continually having insights. Sometimes the info feels like it’s a cohesion of many deeper thoughts I have, or from my higher-self. Sometimes the info feels like it’s from an outside source.

I have often seen myself suspended up over a river of torrential thoughts, sometimes on a balcony, sometimes just levitating. I can hear my thoughts as voices arguing, laughing, crying, memories in action, insecurities, hopes – and then suddenly a Voice will overpower with a simple statement. Once it said,

How can you hear anything in all of this noise?”

This morning I went into mediating not knowing what I was questioning or needing answers to. The dream I had was vivid and I wanted to remember all of it.

Tip: If you want to remember your dream from last night, meditate as soon as you wake up. It will come back to you. Then write it down as soon as you finish your session.

It was juicy and filled with life. There were situations and people there that had hurt me badly in the past, and yet all was forgiven. There was no pain anymore.

Recently I’ve been wondering about places of ‘deadness’. These places that I bump up against in my consciousness that remind me rather of a sudden drop-off in a lake or a dead zone out in the ocean. Emotionally everything just goes cold or just, blank. This dream told me that ‘the unforgiven’ create this deadness.

So, as soon as I started to meditate I was immediately thrust into a thought train about forgiveness.

I asked, what is forgiveness?

The physical body is hooked to wounds. (I see the body with hooks all over it.) All of our wounds are in the past. Each traumatic event, heartbreak, failure, sorrow is a hook into the body. The site of the hook is where imbalance and disease begin.

The physical body lives in linear time – we age with the passage of the years – but it is also non-linear, because these hooks and tethers travel from the past, or can lead us back to the past. We are time travellers and our bodies are the vessel. The person that we are at the time each hook was put in, when each trauma happened, still exists. All of those Sky’s are still there, accessed by memory. If we thought hard enough, meditated long enough, we could travel back to any spot in our life not normally recalled by memory. Hear things. Smell smells. See details.

Our wounds, hooks and tethers create disease and imbalance. They keep us sleeping, dreaming, in the Maya. They interfere with the present and with mindfulness. They hook us to the past.

The light body yearns to be free.

I asked, so how are we set free?

That Voice again, said:

Time does not heal all wounds. It just buries them. The only thing that will heal wounds is diligent participation in the practice of forgiveness – of self and all others. 

Note ‘practice’ is a verb.

featured image by Ludie Cochrane

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SpiritMAMA is the blogspace of Sky Bray, wellness blogger, student of yoga, shamanism, proud Mama.

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